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THE 3 QUESTIONS I GET BOMBARDED WITH ALL THE TIME
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QN1: Sam why/how do you know so much?
a) Ok for a start, how about fucking reading? I dedicate at least 90mins a day reading online. These 90mins override gaming, youtube, facebook (cyber-stalking), blogs, watching porn etc…
need...to...cut..down..on...myfatpocket...
Yes I don’t count reading blogs as gaining knowledge. When I read, I read e-books, educational/informative websites, a bit of wikipedia here and there and NEWS. I got to stress the importance of NEWS (current affairs), it keeps you updated with the WORLD, it is THAT crucial!
I find it funny when some of my female friends are oblivious to who Kofi Annan is?
one of them is God *hint Bruce Almighty*
Kofi Annan??? Some malay coffee boy ah???
huat…
b) I speak to a lot of people and I REMEMBER what they say. This is an innate ability though; I admit I am blessed with good natural memory. When you can recall what people say and retain it within your database, it becomes ADDITIONAL INFO which can be compounded with your own.
I like conversing with my dad too; he’s the closest you can get to a walking cheat-sheet. He is like Shinra, he knows EVERYTHING.
I absorb as much as I can from my dad but there is a limit because he’s style is that of a generalist whereas I am a specialist. Sometimes we both end up with very conflicting points of view.
Sorry I can’t give you any advice as to how to improve your memory. Maybe you can try drinking that GROW GROW GROW milk… Hey it worked on that giraffe, might work on you.
c) Attitude and mentality. I tend to view my learning capacity as a SPONGE. Whatever you can throw, I can take. There is no end to acquiring knowledge. If you reach the state of arrogance where you feel you know too much to carry on learning, you are doomed to fail.
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Some people can get pretty vocal regarding their ‘field of expertise’. Trust me being vocal OR LOUD doesn’t mean you know shit. It’s the analytical depth of a topic which makes you impressive. For example, Benji doesn’t talk a lot but I get hell swept away by his writings.
If respect is granted based on loudness or outspokenness, the Supreme Court of Justice would start hiring Ah Tiongs to run the show. We all know this fact, their speaking volume is unmatched.
So what is it I am confident of talking about? What is my specialty area?
Religion
My interest in this subject started from Primary 4 (a period when most kids would rather spend their free time playing GO-LI, marbles). I have done extensive research, homework and reading up on this topic. Talk/Argue/Debate with me about religion and I will fuck you up, good.
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Well this is what happens when you are schooled for 10 years in a Christian school; it converts you to an Atheist.
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QN2: Sam why no girlfriend?
a) I am not a sentimental/emotional/romantic person. Love ranks below my key priorities in life. Unlike those who treat love as oxygen, (ahem…gackt, junwei, lucky baby des chan) I am the inverse. No pun intended you dipshit, wipe that Lina Inverse thought off your head now.
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b) Expensive, all these xiaomeimeis nowadays so high maintenance, their upkeep GAO GAO. I very NIAO, I only willing to spend on myself so to combat this, I intend to date a rich girl in the future. Har Har Har how capitalistic…
c) Time. While Woon stands by this ‘NO AIR-CON, NO HONEY/BABY’ mantra, mine differs slightly, its ‘NO TIME, NO HONEY’. My girlfriend will feel neglected because I spend a lot of time on… on… MYSELF!!! It has happened in the past; I have been dumped because they felt like an abandoned Neopet. Sadly, I have ALSO been dumped for punctuality issues as well, FuckMyLife zzz.
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d) I am shy around pretty girls. I just get tongue-tied in the presence of babes or cuties.
‘Girls are like pokemons, to catch them, you need pokeBALLS’ – Quote of the day.
In summary, I need to learn to be more natural around THE LENGLUI.
Beautiful girls all over the world... THEY GOT NOTHIN ON YOU BABY!!! NOTHIN ON YOU BABY!!!!
e) Girls don’t take me seriously.
Explanation 1, I am always joking and fooling around.
Explanation 2, they think I am a flirt or a player. It doesn’t help that I have boyish looks/features which some girls find attractive physically yet repulsive/cautious/wary of mentally. I wish to have a serious cat face too but bo pian, I born like that.
For first impressions, there is no FUCKING way you can EVER guess my age right.
f) Sam… Maybe your expectations too high?
No.
I don’t think my expectations are too high.
I mean come on, honestly speaking…
g) Last but not least (most powderful point), I am not putting in ENOUGH effort, TO GET ONE. My lazy ass needs some Flash of Brilliance from Zeus to get it up and running.
QN3: Er… Are you a gay?
This is the question I get asked the MOST. I’m not kidding; about 8 girls (and counting) have APPROACHED me upfront and directly popped this question straight at my face. It’s so unforgiving, not to say, INSULTING.
Once and for all,
NO, I AM NOT A GAY!
I am straight.
I am not a fucking Lady Gaga or Ta-Ta-Ta-Tastey Tastey Fergie. Bisexual category
Neither am I a Dumbledore or Adam Gaybert. Homosexual category
VOLDEMORT'S COMMENT DAMN FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
I am staunchly against buttsecks and ANAL penetration.
I like the boobies you know just like Peter Chao.
We both love the BOOBIES, the white jiggling BOOBIES.
So please do you and do me a favor, stop trolling this damn topic and STOP ASKING IF I AM GAY!!!
Dumbmudabitches…
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