THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT BITCHES
One factor could very well be the cultural differences in upbringing.
For an Angmoh, fracturing a few bones throughout childhood is very common. After all you should look at the sports they partake in e.g. skateboarding, rock-climbing, rodeo, skiing, UFC, mountain biking, American football, the list goes on
For an Asian, fracturing a few bones throughout childhood would either mean you are a PAI KIA, an active sportsperson or a COCK performing some silly stunts. Unfortunately for me, I fractured a hell lot of bones during my childhood and sadly they would fall under the category ‘a COCK performing some silly stunts’.
Are you a PIE KIA???
Sam’s list of major injuries
1. Seated on a chair and fell down while dotaing. (Result: Fractured left hand)
2. Performed some Sephiroth aerial slash attack from Advent Children and slipped. (Result: Double fracture on left forearm)
3. Dodged a punch and hit my lips against the chair. (Result: Stitches on lips)
4. Head got hit by a tree log. (Result: Stitches on head)
5. Charged into Mitchel and rebounded off him aka self-frag. (Result: Fractured left shoulder)
6. Stopped a flying basketball with my right hand. (Result: Minor fracture on right index finger)
Honestly, 2. is fucking EPIC!!! If I managed to video myself doing that Sephiroth aerial slash attack, I am confident I can get at least 10million views on youtube.
Samuel's most devastating attack
Lucky thing is despite all these injuries, I am still fucking good-looking today. HAR HAR HAR HAR! Hengz no major injuries to my Torres face cos I is ‘kao lian chi fan 靠脸吃饭’.
Enough of digressing back to the topic, well you see that day I saw a documentary on OKTO, WORLD’S DEADLIEST ANIMALS.
In that show, the SI ANGMOH host really proved to me he had the balls to stare Thanatos straight in the eye, utter a big ‘FUCK YOU’ before showing him the middle finger. 1 episode is all I need to reaffirm my stand that he absolutely doesn’t fear death! He probably learnt a thing or two from Gackt’s redemption but I am not betting on it.
So I asked my dad ‘Is he a moron or something?’
To which my dad replied ‘No these are all very well educated people, in his free time when he is not doing his show he could be lecturing in a university about his field of expertise’.
And it’s true; it doesn’t take a genius to know that this Angmoh host is a learned man. He knows his stuff and can easily explain them with great proficiency demonstrating abilities far exceeding that of an average layman.
So the question is ‘What the fuck was he thinking?’
Ok you are a PHD zoologist and you willing to risk your life without even thinking twice? Is your desire for passion/hobby truly more important than your life?
Let’s just list down the story rundown for that particular episode I watched.
Si Angmoh leads his team through a forest where they encounter leeches.
Si Angmoh: Come on mates, let’s roll up our pants and shirts and see how many leeches we can get on us while walking through this forest. Come on, let’s do it, it would be fun.
FYI, they are attracted to the CO2 we breathe out
*Wow fucking shit, apparently threading through a leech infested forest is not enough, this ANGMOH had to ‘aggro’ every leech he saw*
Si Angmoh: Nice.. Nice.. Jim’s got 3, I got 4 on me, 1 on my shoulder…HAHA Pete’s got one on his neck…
Si Angmoh: Now I am gonna teach you how to remove a leech
*Asshole really thinks he can mess around with the LEECHKING*
Where shall my blood be spilled?
Si Angmoh: Now we are in the home of the bats. In this cave there are 2million bats.
(Hangs from a suspended harness/rope)
(Drops his entire body weight on the harness by intentionally releasing his hands to mimic the action of a bat)
Do note that his life was totally dependent on that single harness as he was at the midpoint of a FUCKING CAVE. If the harness snapped or gave way, he would instantly ROD.
*Now if my life hangs on a harness, I swear I wouldn’t fucking clown around on it*
Si Angmoh: Here is nature’s biggest dumping ground. You see the ground I am standing on; it seems to be moving isn’t it? That is because it is completely filled with cockroaches.
(Si Angmoh proceeds to SHOVE HIS FUCKING HAND INTO THE GROUND TO GRAB A HANDFUL OF DIRT AND COCKROACHES)
(NO GIMMICKS, NO FANCIFUL VIDEO EDITINGS, NO GLOVES, NO PROTECTIVE COVERS, JUST HIM AND HIS FUCKING HAND)
Si Angmoh: Look at all these baby cockroaches…
cockroach cosplay
*When he did that I was like, holy shit this guy is hardcore*
(He then traverses deeper into the cave)
Si Angmoh: Well you see all these cockroaches; they are prey to the deadly Scutigera.
(PRODS THE FUCKING SCUTIGERA WITH HIS BARE HANDS)
(PLAYS AROUND WITH IT, TRYING TO BLOCK ITS MOVEMENT PATH)
Si Angmoh: Look at all its legs, there is no way a cockroach could escape from a Scutigera.
sexy legs
(For the rest of his show, he goes around hunting for a python. Not just any ordinary python, it’s the reticulated python. Have no idea of its prowess? Go wiki it)
When I watched the news just now, I saw some extreme flying (aeroplane) competition being held in the states. It involves having to maneuver your plane through narrow barricades when doing several loops around the course. If you flew too low, you would hit into the water and crash. If you missed a maneuvering turn, you would directly collide with the barricade. Either way, ur fucked! Your only chance of survival is to perfect the course with ZERO deviation for error.
Sometimes you gotta love the ANGMOHS, if not for them; we will not be able to witness and enjoy such mind-blowing sports / documentaries / movies etc…
For one, Asians will NEVER embrace such bullshit. Its in our blood, we are all BUAY STEADY when it comes to risking our lives. You ask a Chinese or an Indian to skydive for the sake of filming a short clip, he would most probably reply with ‘S-K-Y-D-I-V-E-??? DEH, this is Mumbai Da, India… INDIA!!!’
I'd love to see you pee on us tonight!
The only AI ZAI country in Asia is Japan but that’s only because Japan is abit ‘siao siao’. (All thanks to the atomic bombs and their radioactive aftereffects) Sometimes you can watch a Jap perform something really questionable which makes you go ‘WHAT THE FUCK?’
domo in human form
Beautiful world
