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24.7.10

Live Fast, Die Young.



This quote is copied/sharingan’ed from Agnes Ho’s facebook profile. If you guys have no idea who Agnes is, No…. she is not the irritant from Despicable me, she is Singapore’s Ayumi Hamasaki, the person who sprouts words of wisdom like ‘我觉得我要死了… 我的心很痛’while playing Mah Jong.


sorry Agnes, hahahaha


I really like this quote, ‘Live Fast, Die Young’, its in-line with my thoughts and sentiments regarding Life.


I don’t know about you but personally for me, I am not afraid of Death. The only thing I am afraid of is ‘Dying with Regrets’.


some cats have suicidal tendencies


How do you die without regrets? Simple, just live your life to the fullest.

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To list it down in points, here is a rough guide which has been governing my life thus far.


1. Try


You need to try anything and everything. Of course don’t attempt anything taboo, illegal or career/life threatening though…


if he lau-chiew, he will ROD, not ORD.


huat my life...


When I say try anything and everything, I mean you must be willing to embrace new things.


This is exceptionally critical because unlike the other points I’m going to state later, this one is Time-Sensitive.


I will turn 22 this November. In my workplace, I am the perhaps the youngest. You can almost sense the indubitable admiration/desire of colleagues around you who wish they could be young once again.


It’s the same for me when I look at students donning their school uniforms. I was once like them, I was once 16. I was once living without having to worry about financials, worry about career, worry about love, worry about health etc…


japanese xmm


When you reach a certain age, look back and regret because you have not done enough, you deserve it!


Mark my words, you only have yourself to blame.


I have friends who are of the same age as me never having stepped into clubs like Zouk, Dbl O, Butterfactory and Supperclub before.




I have friends who don’t know what anime is.


I have friends who don’t know what Dota stands for.


I have friends who don’t know who the heck is Cristiano Ronaldo.


don't worry, you will know who I am after I'm done with this free kick


In fact I challenge you to challenge me, doesn’t matter if you are male or female.


Throw something at me, chances are I have done it before, either that or I have AT LEAST some slight/minimal knowledge about it (probably read about it before or learnt about its existence from a friend… its important to not be completely oblivious about something). If I don’t fulfill the both conditions stated above, I WILL BE WILLING TO TRY IT.


Gaming – check
Nightlife – check
Reading – check
Blogging - check
Investing – check
Music/Band - check
Anime/Cosplay – check
Fashion/Beauty – check
Politics/Current Affairs - check
Sports/Martial Arts – check
Gambling – check
Fine dining/Binge eating – check
Studies - check
Other recreational/leisure activities - check


Use your friends to help you. Nobody is perfect and will ever be. Roger Federer may be Tennis God but he would probably get his assed kicked in Tekken 6 by any regular Bugis arcade goer.


don't mess with uncle Kazuya


In my group for example, I am very open to absorbing knowledge from my friends. Its ok man, there is nothing to be ashamed of when you learn from someone superior to you.


Serious Cat TW good in fitness/sports/nightlife – I talk to him and learn more
Chin Nam good at fashion/hair-styling/CYBASTALKING!!! – LEARN
Woon good at music/writing/otakuness/being a xiaopang – LEARN
Benji good at politics/history/current affairs – LEARN
Emooo Cow good at photography/gaming – LEARN
Yo Long good with computers/card-tricks – KIV
Jeremy Yay The Foodblader good at online marketing – KIV
Nich good with investing – KIV
Ellson good at making money in online poker - KIV
Ben good for nothing – DON’T LEARN!!! (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOMBERBEN)
Jinn good at getting cheated by girls and feeding in Dota – DON’T LEARN ALSO
Ronald good for being a Halfpuf – AVOID!!!


KIV means KEEP IN VIEW. We each have 24 hours a day, now might not be a good time to learn about affiliate marketing from Jeremy or investing from Nich because of time constraints but in the future, things might change.


Your only limitation is you.


As mentioned earlier, I will be hitting 22 soon.


Here is my ‘To-do list’ before I become old and unsexy (new word).


a) Cosplay with my friends. I must do it while I'm still young, I don't see myself cosplaying when I hit 24 or 25? That would just be retarded and you will hear alot of people saying, 'Dude.. Get a Life already'. (I mean come on… you all don’t wanna see Woon cosplay as MENG HUO or ZHANG FEI??? That would be E-P-I-K)


si angmohs cosplaying the 3SHU brothers


this is not cosplay, this is cosfail


Hit the gyms. I promised TW that, I have not forgotten my promise.


Project Make-Over. In Progress, awaiting the return of Shion.


Stage a Hangover trip with my friends. (Country – Undecided yet)

NOT YOU FAT JESUS!!!! best quote in the movie


Shion once said something really meaningful which I want to share with my readers.


现在我们年轻,想穿,能穿,就穿。

以后你老了,就算你肯穿,都没有人要看。


Now that we are young, whatever we want to wear, can wear, we should do so.

Because next time when you are much older, even if you are willing to wear, nobody would bother looking.


god my eyes...


If I died tomorrow would I have any regrets?


Yes of course, I would have regrets. There are still many things in Life I have yet to have accomplished. I would go with a small smile, not a big one.


But how about we pose this question to a RI or Hwa Chong Student/Nerd?


He/She would have a FUCKLOAD of regrets considering that the majority of his/her life was spent on studying and trading off with leisure/relaxation/enjoyment. Yup, dying before you land that highly coveted lawyer or politician job, suck it lol! This person would go with a massive frown in his/her grave.

As you can see, the trick to Life is to die happy, die without regrets.


2. Eat anything that moves

my master


I classify things into 2 categories, either EDIBLE or INEDIBLE.


Look at the computer, OK ITS INEDIBLE.

Look at that calculator, OK ITS INEDIBLE.
Look at those chikin nuggets, EDIBLE.

Look at that plate of Sambal Kang Kong, SUPREMELY EDIBLE!!!!!


put this infront of me = GG!!!


Look at that dumbfuck who bought 6 boots of speed in Dota, EDIBLE.


Always remember, as long as it moves, IT CAN BE EATEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I have a silent respect for vegetarians. Abstaining from meat is an arduous and gargantuan task. But I also want to let you guys know that for every animal you don’t eat, I will eat three.




How to piss a vegetarian off 101?


a) Call them Vegetables instead of Vegetarians. Act like you GENUINELY cannot distinguish between the two words.


‘Ohhhhh you are a vegetable ah…. Ok lor later we go subway for lunch ba…’

b) Use Hokkien.

‘Siao eh, you are JIAK CAO one ah???’


To gain a higher score, end off with a ‘MOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo’.

my cousin


Seriously… why am I so fucking godly?


Asking me to go VEGE is like asking Michael Bay to direct a movie without explosions.


Not going to happen.


On a more serious note, eating whatever we can while we are young is because as we age, we will tend to be more health-conscious.


My Dad has gout and thus his diet is controlled. I don’t want to reach a point in my life whereby I’m hit with a medical condition which restricts what I can eat and have regrets about not eating those when I was younger.


I eat what I like so next time if I can’t; at least I was once able to.


Unfortunately for me, whatever I like to eat is deemed UNHEALTHY.


Sam’s favorites 101


Sambal Kang Kong
Cockles aka Sea Hum
Laksa
Intestines of any kind, even humans muahahaha
Livers of any kind, humans included, do I have to repeat...
Those fried fishes with a lot of eggs in it, forgot the name.
Any fast-food, I love eating fast-food esp Super Dog and Popeyes.

what is the name of this fish, its my favourite!


Ever questioned the need for a last meal in prisons before the day of execution? IT’S SO THE DEATHROW PRISONER DIE ALSO CAN DIE UNTIL SONG SONG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


But then again if they give me a last meal, it’s damn easy, just 5kgs of Sambal Kang Kong and 3kgs of Sea Hum can le.


can you resist?


3. Stand up for yourself


To Live Fast and Die Young, you must be true to yourself. I have a very strong character, I don’t believe in taking shit from anybody, not from parents, superiors, teachers, friends etc…


If I hate you, I won’t bother mincing my words or put it across to you tactfully. I will either just tell you straight in the face to FUCK OFF or avoid you completely.


No, I won’t backstab you or play politics, that’s just not my style.


Love me Hate me, it’s your choice, my pleasure.


I may not die rich, I may not die good-looking and I may not die with tons of friends mourning for me but hey… At least I die with a character I can call, my own.


TASTE!!!!

14.7.10

The Taxist

Typical cab scenario which always happens to Samuel The Great.


Sam: Uncle, Tampines.

Uncle: Go by ECP, CTE, TPE, SLE, AYE?

Sam: Just go the fastest one

Uncle: Err so CTE la?

Sam: Ya ok


*5mins later at a junction*


Uncle: So now go by TPE or ECP?

im on the highway to hell

Sam: ANY 1 JUST GO THE ONE WHICH CAN REACH THE FASTEST

Uncle: So it’s TPE ah…

Uncle: Ok I go TPE

Sam: (starting to get pissed)


*10mins later*


Uncle: Wah piang… jam, should have gone ECP, faster…

HUAT!!!

Sam: ZOOMMMMG UNCLE YOU WANNA DIE BY FINGER OF DEATH OR LAGUNA BLADE???? KNN, U TRYIN TO BE A JOKE ISSIT!11!1

suffer, bitch.

-lol kidding I didn’t say that… BUT I wish I did hahaha

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Uncle: Ah boy u want to go by TPE, CTE, ECP??

Sam: TPE


*10mins later at a traffic light*


Sam: Uncle the interchange is left or right ah?

Uncle: Oh interchange is left (Proceeds to make a left turn)


*30seconds later*


Sam: Eh UNCLE, the interchange is behind us la, just now you should have turned right

Uncle: Ohhhh sorry, I U-TURN now…

(You all must note that at this point, the taxi driver’s life was in critical danger. Danger of perishing from the wrath of Samuel The Great)

Seriously you fuckwitt, if this was Grand Theft Auto: Singapore, I would have gotten 1STAR instantly for butchering your sorry-ass on the spot.


And don’t get me wrong, murdering you would be doing society a favor.

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Readers, please get this straight, I am not a Taxist.

(racist: people who are biased against different races)
(taxist: people who are biased against taxi-drivers)

I am an intellecist. I am biased against STUPID PEOPLE aka DUMBSHITS.

textbook example of a dumbshit

If you don’t know the route well, fair enough, it’s understandable. After all, I don’t expect a taxi driver who frequents the North area of Singapore to be exceptionally well-versed in the layout of the East. BUT DON’T FUCKING GEI KIANG CHO HERO AND WORST STILL, LIE.

Tell the truth to the passenger. I’m sure most Singaporeans are reasonable people and the majority of them are receptive to logic. In fact some will even try their best to aid you along the way.

But if you are being a fucking prick who lies just for the sake of making that few extra bucks, I got to say… your existence is really a pitiful story.

i only allow girls as cute as her to lie to me, the rest CANNOT!!!


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To be an effective passenger land transport provider for Samuel The Great, you just need to follow these 3 very simple rules.

Number 1: Shut up and drive

golden rule

Number 2: Shut up and drive drive drive drive

do it or ribena would be pissed

Number 3: Shut up and drive drive drive drive drive drive drive driveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

again???? YES, AGAIN till its drilled into ur fucken head

Easy as pie.

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On a side note, I’m back on HoneyHushHush. Yes the ISD did not bring me in for coffee, Heng Ga Lao Sai… To celebrate my elusiveness from the law, I have decided to share this EPIC WIN story with you guys.

I think about roughly 2 weeks back, it was Gackt’s Birthday celebration in Downtown East.

(At New York New York Restaurant)

Gackt and Samuel The Great seated side by side facing the famous Empire State Building King Kong picture.


Gackt: I think the first show we watched together was Godzilla…

Sam: Really meh? No la I don’t think its Godzilla

Gackt: That was where we trained our skill of laughing in the cinemas

Sam: Dunno la, don’t remember liao

Gackt: Eh Bird, if Godzilla fight King Kong, who will win?


Sam: WTF OF COURSE KING KONG LA!!!

Sam: U didn’t know King Kong tore off the top of the Empire State Building meh.. last time during the fight.

Gackt: HUH??? I thought King Kong is a fake story????

Sam: LJ LA!!! The picture you see there is actually the reconstructed Empire State Building!!!

Sam: I read about it before (flashes a confident face / serious cat face)

Sam: Even in wiki they got say loh…

Sam: In King Kong’s last fight, he climb the Empire State Building then he got injured by the planes but when he about to die, he tore off the tip of the Empire State Building and brought it down with him…

(at this point, Gackt bought 50% of my story)

Sam: But then the picture you see there right… Actually the actual King Kong is not so big size de (trying to paint some practicality into my lie)

OF COURSE NOT SO BIG LA SIAO!!! LIK TAT U TINK GACKT WILL BELIEVE MEH????

(Gackt 75% convinced)

Sam: The real King Kong is abit smaller but then he still managed to climb the Empire State Building…

Sam: Actually you think about it, it’s really damn amazing right??

Gackt: YA LA!!

Gackt: Wah you mean the King Kong is real one ah…

Gackt: Sian how come nowadays don’t have King Kong this type of big creatures sia…

(closing phase of a lie – The Polish)

Sam: Its like that 1 la, they all gone extinct le…

Sam: In that last battle, King Kong tio shoot by the plane till he buay ta han then he just fall down

noble monkey

Sam: Damn heng when he fall down he didn’t land on any innocent people…

Sam: Also he protected the girl all the way to the end…

(Sam strikes an ‘act-sad’ face)

(Repeats the key punchline of the story)

Sam: But you must not forget, even in his dying moments, King Kong was strong enough to tear off the tip of the building leh… That’s why they have to reconstruct it.

Sam: I really respect King Kong and I guarantee you, he confirm stronger than Godzilla.

Sam: I tell you if he never die, he surely will climb the World Trade Centre de but wasted tio bomb.

(Gackt 100% convinced)

Gackt: Wah song sia! Really didn’t know this shit happened man…


Moral of the Story: Gackt is a Himbo (male equivalent of Bimbo)


The best part, THE MOST PRICELESS PART was seeing Gackt’s serious, interested and inquisitive expression throughout the whole ‘skit’. He was giving me unyielding attention and nodding in accordance to what I said. It’s like he GENUINELY BELIEVED THAT KING KONG ACTUALLY EXISTED HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH REALLY BUAY TA HAN TO THE MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


WTF I FEEL DAMN EVIL LA, TRICKING MY BEST FRIEND LIKE THAT BUT THEN ITS REALLY DAMN DAMN FUNNY I SWEAR.

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Quick updates on my life

1. Just got back from South Africa after a tiring, exhausting and hard-fought tournament. WELL WORTH THE EFFORT, WE ARE FINALLY CROWNED WORLD CHAMPIONS!!!! IT’S A DREAM COME THROUGH! When Fabregas slid me that pass, I knew I couldn’t let my countrymen down… I took the volley which carried the weight of my nation and now the rest is history.


Regards,
Andres Iniesta

2. My PS3 is collecting dust at home. Nearly 2months never touch liao. When is FF13 Versus coming out, when, when when???????????


3. Will be trying my hand at stock investment/trading soon.

4. I find Elaine Yuki very cute. Abit better than miyamiya but still lose to Celestina. Myfatpocket is my drug.


5. I am planning to put on weight HAHAHAHA, my metabolism rate really needs to apply leave and go on long holiday…

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writing really burns my sleep zZzZzZzZ