what is that you’re holding?
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A common misconception is that smoking makes you cool. It supposedly delivers an image of maturity and coming of age to the one who embraces the white stick.
Here’s a list of other things I personally find cool as well
a) Freefalling without a parachute.
b) Diving headfirst into a swimming pool, a drained one.
c) Skateboarding across a busy traffic junction.
I don’t see you picking that up? Why?
Because it’s illogical, some might even term it, insane.
Now you can choose to spend your hard-earned money on things which could entertain/beautify your life and perhaps make you a happier person OR alternatively, you could spend your hard-earned money for a chance at obtaining cancer.
Yup! You are buying cancer
Remember
Out of your own pockets
For something so adverse
D-0 double G
Look, I’m not a fucking Government Health promoter, neither am I an anti-smoking activist. I’m here writing this shit for the benefit of the people I care for.
Honestly if you’re a stranger to me, I don’t give a flyingfuck if you smoke and die. That equates to having one less moron in this world. One less person snatching my precious oxygen on planet Earth and trust me when I say, “I would be heartened by your demise”. You rightfully & royally deserved it.
Why do you smoke?
Top 3 reasons (excuses)
1) As mentioned early, the ‘cool’ factor
2) The Peer Pressure
3) Stress
Just because your favourite actor/singer smokes doesn't warrant you the right to follow suit. Even if you mimicked them, you wouldn't be half as cool anyway... admit it, so stop tryin!
And WHO THE FUCK linked smoking to coolness in the first place???
What a douche.
When you go clubbing and you see a bunch of smokers, do you them find dashing, enchanting or alluring?
No...
In fact I find them repulsive.
Imagine if Justin Bieber started smoking, Tobacco companies would be laughing their way to the bank...
(the whole muthafukin' mob of teens gonna start puffin')
The Peer Pressure factor. From astute observation of smokers around me, I noticed that many of them succumbed to smoking after continued influence from their peers. These are not your ordinary peers, they are the ones you hang out with on a regular basis.
Let’s not shit ourselves here, if I have a group of friends whom I meet up with only once a month/forthnight, what are the chances of them influencing me?
Very slim, shady.
Ahhh the irony of it… The group you hold so dear to yourself harms you in an indirect manner. Worse still, the influence is often applied in a subtle and unknowing approach which lets your guard down.
“These are my closest friends… why would they hurt me? We just wanna have fun!”
You can only defend against peer pressure with something called A Firm Stance.
A ‘No’ is a ‘No’. A true friend will not force something on you which you are strongly against.
For those who smoke because you wish to integrate into a certain group of friends or gain their approval, you will look back in 20 maybe 30 years time and regret your decision but its DIU LEIIII TO APOLOGISE… I SAID ITS DIU LEIIII
The Stress factor. Dissecting internet usage in my family, dad is often on Youtube, sis on chat/messengers and me on games & pornresearch. We all do different things online but fall under the same umbrella of ‘internet users’. [Mom is not counted; she is watching retarded Korean dramas]
a Korean friend of mine in 10years time
When you are feeling stressed out, you can choose to relieve your stress through MANY avenues just like how internet can be used in 10000000001 ways. You don’t necessarily have to smoke you know?
You can go for a jog, down a bottle of vodka, take a wank, read a book, insult Manchester United on their official forum/fanpage, kill some n00bs on COD, pray to Huat Zai Ye, learn about the female anatomyresearch, take a wank, stalk someone on Facebook, phone Ayumi Ho for mahjong session, kick a dog, hide your neighbour’s slippers/shoes, listen to JPop Perfume, take a wank etc…
yeah i have 2 testicles, why do you ask?
Dummy's guide to 'How to Spot A Pedo'
THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS YOU CAN DO TO RELIEVE STRESS!!!
HOMGGGGGG ZOMMMGG ZOMGIADDDD IM GONNA COME!!!!! ROFLLOLOLOLOLCOPTERRRR I NEED A DOCTOR CALL ME A DOCTOR I NEED A DOCTOR TO BRING ME BACK TO LIFE BRING ME BACK TO LIFE BRING ME BACK TO LIFE BRING ME BACK~~~~~
The next time someone tells you, “I smoke because I’m stressed”.
Counter with a, “when I’m feeling stressed, I feed my unicorn with weed. By the way he came from Narnia and his name is Charlie”.
p.s. The part about listening to Perfume to relieve stress is bs! I put it there just to trick stupid sheeps. Perfume (group) has been tested & proven to exponentially worsen your condition and add to the headache you are already suffering from.
Image
Girls Girls Girls… Image is EVERYTHING. When we boys were young, our mamas would tell us, ‘girls who smoke = bad girls… don’t ever bring them home for me to see…’
This is called social conditioning. We have been indoctrinated and brought up to associate girls who smoke in a negative manner and girls who don’t in a positive light.
You may be highly educated. You may have a gorgeous face. You may have a heart of Mother Teresa.
BUT
*WHEN YOU SMOKE*
POOF!
Your image entirely goes down down down down down downnnnnnn downnnnnnnn the drain.
(Smoking rule doesn't apply to girls with big boobs, you are still cool even if you smoke.
0 loss of image no worries =))) we are totally fine with big boob girls who smoke and I speak for ALL straight guys. damn… the perks of being well endowed)
smoking rule doesn't apply to Kim
Look ladies I agree that this unspoken 'smoking rule' is a shallow form of judgement but the stereolovetype has clouded the minds of a good proportion of the male population. Not every guy you meet is going to accept you for who you are. First impressions often leave the deepest impressions.
They may compromise on the basis of love but spare a thought for them. You all know deep down it affects them to have a partner who smokes. You can deny all you want but ask any male friend. Ask both the non-smoking and smoking ones. Ask them if they are absolutely OK and FINE with a smoking partner and won’t attempt to change her smoking habits. ASK FOR AN HONEST OPINION!
Those who answered,
YES I AM OK AND FINE WITH A SMOKING PARTNER AND WON’T EVER EVER ATTEMPT TO CHANGE HER SMOKING HABITS!
Then these are my questions to them:
‘Are you serious about her?’
‘Are you planning to start a family with her?’
‘Are you aware of the potential harm smoking can cause not only to you (passive smoker) but also to your future child (if you’re planning to have one)?’
‘Are you a fan of Manchester United?’ (ok that is irrelevant)
‘Do you want your child to pick up smoking from his/her mother?’
‘Do you want your wife to empty your Medisave/bank account should you ever have to pay for her chemotherapy treatment?’ (don’t eliminate the possibility of cancer, its always there)
‘Can you bear to lose her?’ (smoking claims lives, can’t deny that eh)
If he is still adamant,
YES I AM OK AND FINE WITH A SMOKING PARTNER AND WON’T EVER EVER ATTEMPT TO CHANGE HER SMOKING HABITS!
And even fucking repeats it with greater conviction and fervor,
YES I AM OK AND FINE WITH A SMOKING PARTNER AND WON’T EVER EVER ATTEMPT TO CHANGE HER SMOKING HABITS!
Then I guess I’m cornered and can only retort,
‘Sir, I believe Manchester United is the right club for you, thank you and have a nice day.’
In all seriousness, decent guys will mind and at least give some thought to those questions mentioned above. I use the term decent guys here because I know ahbengs and all won’t give a fuck. They are either too stupid to critically evaluate or too busy hacking people in Downtown East to pay attention to such minute YET SIGNIFICANT details.
Hey it’s your life, not mine. If you screw it up, there ain’t no reset button yo.
So all the Lengluis out there, next time when you are meticulously applying your E-TOOD HOUSE make-up to achieve that ideal appearance, take a moment to do a simple reflection
'Why The Fuck am I wasting so much time dolling up when the effing cigarette is gonna tarnish my image anyway?’
Moral Evaluation
I have a lecturer who used to lobby for Tobacco companies. In short, her job was to promote the sale of tobacco to the public through Public Relations. Typical PR job, boost reputation of firm, advocate superiority of product, obtain greater market share, generate more revenue blabblahlab
She also told us that she and her team had to at one point craft a PR strategy/campaign to persuade Minister Mentos LaoLee (then, Prime Minister) to allow Tobacco companies to continue plying their trade in Singapore. LaoLee was against smoking, he wanted to ban smoking in Singapore and shoo all these foreign vices out. He gave in only because those PR peeps mindfucked him into believing that the existence of Tobacco activity in Singapore would ultimately provide benefits to society in the long run. (example, high taxes on cigarettes could be used to fund social/welfare programmes) LMAO!!!! The power of PR, the power of Professional BullShitting. If She and her team were unsuccessful, LaoLee would have completely eradicated smoking in Singapore by year 2000 through a stiff ban policy (recall chewing gums).
yeah but it worked on LaoLee
She finally quitted her job at the continuous urging of her husband who convinced her from the ethical point of view, “Honey… you can’t be selling cancer to youths.”
She was a Senior PR consultant from a reputable firm so you can have a pretty rough gauge of her salary eh (coupled with many years of practical experience). She came to terms with herself that what she had been doing all along was fundamentally ‘wrong’.
This episode just goes to show that LaoLee really possessed superhuman foresight. Genius means genius, boh beh zao! TAO NAO HO ma si TAO HAO HO, BO PIAN EH…
he looks older than Yoda and mind you, Yoda is 800+!??!
You know back in Tampines Junior College. I was in a group of 7 guys (miserable… tak love from girls cause we suck) called 7 Flowers. HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Take a minute to digest that. 7 FLOWERS. 7 FUCKING FLOWERS. SAMUEL THE GREAT FROM 7 FLOWERS.
Then we decided our name was too retarded and we changed it to 7 Swords (after that Donnie Yen movie).
I think the girls were sick of our BS and started calling us Qi Dui Sai aka 7 Shits
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
I shan't post a picture because I looked disgus-tipating (digusting till you constipate) back then. It's hard to believe that I flawlessly evolved to become such a Takuya Kimura now.
For the sake of this article, I reserve the right to address us by the more honourable 7 Swords.
There was this one guy from 7 Swords who was EXTREMELY, ANAL’LY against smoking. Whenever we discussed or brought up the topic of smoking, he would like somewhat flare up or becoming highly engaged. You could see the raging vigour from his eyes.
Here are some excerpts from his speech, (as retrieved from my sharingan memory)
“KNN FUCKING AH BENGS AND THEIR SIANNINGS”
“I WILL NVR SMOKE LIKE THEM, BUNCH OF SELLOUTS”
“I won’t smoke la…”
Funny how time changes people.
I am not slandering/defaming him, he’s a very close friend of mine and I genuinely want him to change for the better (drop that smoking vice). If he tells me that he NEVER had a staunch anti-smoking mentality during that period of time and I am merely fabricating tales, then I will apologise for my poor recollection and scrape this entire entry.
Folks, smoking is smoking.
There is no difference between smoking and social smoking.
Killing 1 person is considered committing Murder.
Killing 5 people is also considered committing Murder.
Killing 10 people in a row without dying is called Beyond Godlike, Holyshittt (ok ignore this line lol)
Killing 25 people over a period of 845 days is STILL Murder.
So moral of the story? If you have to commit murder, take down AS MANY AS YOU CAN WITH YOU because heck… ur gonna have to die anyway! Might as well pull off a Hitler/Stalin and go to the afterlife with a frag tally of 6million<
Bragging Rights homie... BRAGGING RIGHTS FTW!
When you tell someone that you are merely social smoking. The joke is on you.
Just think about it, all these blatant excuses and covering up, to deceive who???
You are deceiving yourself. Your friends won’t give a fuck if you aren't willing to heed their advices. They are not the ones who will run the risk of contracting cancer (unless they tio from passive smoking then really suay ga lau sai). When you are suffering in the hospital, he/she would just be there with a snobbish, ‘I Told Cha Bro/Sista, You Wouldn’t Listen’.
Social Smoking, please… Stop using this term already. This is an appeal to all ma’ fellow Singaporeans, not just readers of this blog. We should start a ‘social’ movement to ban this term.
“ARE YOU A MURDERER???”
“eh dun classify me as murderer leh, I part-time murderer nia…”
Quit
I will Quit!
The smokers’ equivalent of Cristiano Ronaldo’s “I will Stop Womanising”.
this is not womanising btw, this is BROMANCE
If social smoking tackled the (internal) aspect of lying to self.
Then, I will quit! tackles the (external) aspect of lying to others.
Because when you lie… you have to consider all the stakeholders/parties.
That is the Art of Lying Effectively!
That is the Formula for making people Love The Way You Lie!
Start Lying like a Pro today!
(Email me for private tuition, rates negotiable)
If I can get a dollar from every smoker for every I will Quit! uttered from their mouths, I will be crusin’ to Japan in my luxury Yacht already.
Japan. A land where the lines of reality and fiction are blurred.
Like a G6 Like a G6…
Feeling so FLY~~
Word of Advice
Quitting is never easy. It’s about discipline and accumulated determination. It’s a feat accomplished by actions, not words.
If you don’t want to go through this daunting process, don’t start.
Why I don’t smoke
I have lost an uncle to smoking many years back. No matter how hard I tried, it was impossible for me to grasp or even empathise with the pain endured by his son. The pain of losing a loved one, a someone immensely dear to you.
I took a stand since, I swore off smoking. I always reminded myself that if I smoke, the same scenario could happen to my son one day. I find comfort in knowing that his son, my cousin abstains from smoking with a very focused self-discipline. He understands it better than I do and will always be and remain a moral role model for me.
These are my thoughts on smoking, would be great if it enlightened or influenced you a little. I felt the need to write this as my closest group of friends is swarming with smokers. Non smokers are a minority in our group, do you guys realise the gravity of the issue we're facing? Even my best friend smokes despite my repeated cautioning and lengthy sermons.
I will say it one last time for the people I care:
“If I don’t know you, I won't give a fuck if you live or die. It’s because you mean something to me that I bother. The most I can do is to advise, the choice and decision is yours and yours alone.”
To the rest of you who smoke:
you have no idea how much your $10.80/packet helps the society
