God - Korean form
So what is ASK?
ASK stands for AH SEAH KIA. If you are female, you will be known as AH SEAH ZHA BOR KIA. (hint – Ms Chow)
opps wrong pic lol
An AH SEAH KIA is someone who is born with a rich dad. Silver spoon embedded to his porcelain brittle mouth since birth.
If your reaction after reading the above line was – Chey… or So what?
Chances are = You are an AH SEAH KIA or You haven’t started working yet.
Trust me you don’t know shit brother. You don’t know SQUAT about AH SEAK KIAs and won’t appreciate their kinda lifestyles unless you have STARTED WORKING.
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You see when I take shit from people at work, there are 2 situations.
These 2 situations then derive 2 respective reactions.
Situation 1 – It’s my fault
Reaction 1 – Can I siam it? If can, SIAM! If cannot >>>
CAN I BLAME IT ON SOMEBODY? If can, BLAME! If cannot >>>
WILL I GET IN SERIOUS HELL FOR THIS MISTAKE OF MINE? If yes, act BLUR and strike the cutest/most innocent reaction! (helps if you are naturally cute like me)
If no, admit mistake. Proceed to Reaction 2 >>>
Reaction 2 – FML, llst…
Situation 2 – It’s not my fault but I get blamed for it or take the rap for it.
Reaction 1 – Check your NRIC or Birth-cert. Does it coincidentally happen to read Alexander Wang Leehom, Takuya Kimura or Cristiano Ronaldo?
he can give you something
If yes, CONGRATS you SHOULDN’T and WOULDN’T be suffering in this hellhole.
If no, >>>
Take a deep breath and sigh. Use a good 60seconds to reproach yourself. “WHY!! WHY AM I NOT HALF AS TALENTED AS FEDERER???? WHY IS MY LIFE DOOMDED TO MEDIOCRITY???? WHY AM I A B-LISTER????? WHY IS JERRY YAN SO GOOD LOOKING AND YET I LOOK LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN QUEEN AMIDALA AND CHEWBACCA???????”
parents don't do this to your kids man... it will scar them for life
After you are done with self-pity and wallowing >>> Proceed to Reaction 2
Reaction 2 – Am I an AH SEAH SIA?
If yes, FiRe YoUr FuCkiNg BoSs.
do you have a billion bucks? if no, GET THE HELL OUTTA MY FACE!
If no >>>
Ditto Reaction 2 from Situation 1
(Sit 1 Reaction 2 – FML, llst…)
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Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against ASK.
It’s all good.
I only have an issue with AH SEAH KIAs who have attitude problems.
If you are rich, good for you! People aspire to have your kind of wealth. It’s the truth; we are all stuck in this rat race and have this wish of joining the upper caste of society, the elites.
But just so you know, you better not let this fact escape you.
You are rich from your father’s/family’s wealth.
You have not earned a single bit of it on your own.
Just based on this point alone, I can totally discredit you and give you 0 respect.
If you are rich and treat others well, you are a rare find, a gem.
I have friends like that; they don’t despise or look down on others. They share their wealth with their friends. They grow and enjoy life as a close knitted group. They don’t let wealth become a determinant factor to friendship.
Conversely there are people who are rich and think the world is their playground. I guess this snobbish group needs no further explanation. I believe my readers are old enough to have witnessed and experienced such circumstances.
So if you are reading this, don’t feel disheartened by your lack of wealth or income. It’s the character, morals and uprightness of a person that stands strong and shines throughout your journey of life.
The Sage of the 6 Paths is my master in life, Rinnegan > all
You may be fithly rich ya, but hey, you are ‘piss-poor’ morally. You have still failed as a person, as a human-being. You ain’t gonna die happy that’s for sure. To make matters worst, people around you (fair weather friends) or close to you (relatives/family) would be elated at your death by the mere thought of hefty inheritance.
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Game of Life
I will simply use a diagram + analogy for illustration purposes here.
This over here is a Stadium (duh), a 400m track to be exact.
In this race there are 4 runners.
Runner 1 – Larry
Poor Larry. He is your typical dude. Not rich, not smart, not good looking. Average Joe. Worst still, he has family problems. In this race, Larry isn’t running, heck he isn’t even walking, he is crawling.
Start point: 0m mark
Movement Speed: 0.2metre/sec
Runner 2 – Samuel The Great
Samuel The Great. Good but not great. (no pun intended) No matter how hard he tries, he cannot run as fast as Michael Phelps who is born with it (its maybelline!!!) Du lan with his speed in the race but bo pian, cannot do anything about it. Even if he trains day and night, the most he can increase his speed is to 7m/sec.
Start point: 0m mark
Movement Speed: 6m/sec
Runner 3 – Michael Phelps
Michael Phelps. Talented. Gifted from birth. Runs twice as fast as Samuel The Great (on his bad hair days). On his good days, he is 3.75times faster than Samuel The Great.
Start point: 0m mark
Movement Speed: 12m/sec (munching pizza on one hand and drinking diet coke with the other while running)
Runner 4 – Random ASK
Random ASK. No talent. No intelligence.
Start point: 370m mark
WTF???????????
370m mark?????????
Yup. Random ASK starts the race at the 370m mark. That is his head start.
Movement Speed: 0m/sec
0m/sec!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! zomggggggg
Hehehehe. Random ASK doesn’t need to run the race, neither does he even bother walking. His father hires chauffeurs to aid his race. On days where the chauffeurs are on leave, his father arranges Sedan Carriages to drag his lazy ass through. Damn… Do the other runners even stand a chance?
Phase 2
this picture sums up L.I.F.E -copyright HoneyHushHush
ASK would win this race. Whether you like it or not.
-end-
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5 Advantages of being an AH SEAH KIA
1. You never have to work a single day in your life (do you ever feel like a plastic bag?). Money makes money. Money makes more money. Money makes money money money. Perhaps you guys have no idea what I can do with $1 million. I swear I would be able to create a name for myself and confidently grow this $1 million fivefold over time. The question though is WHO is going to give/entrust me with this $1 million in the first place to make it happen?
2. Your wrongs become right. AH SEAH KIA leh, whatever you say is correct de, U IZ TEH BOSS! NOT HAPPY AH??? I use money TIM YOUR FACE! $50dollar bills to slap you till you agree with my point of view. (just visualize this scene, its epic lol)
3. Your network. Circle of friends. Birds of the same feather flock together. If I am an ASK, obviously my friends would be ASK also what… “ehhh my dad just bought me a Rolex for my birthday leh… That old fogey, I wanted Patek leh!” “Wah you so suay loh…. My dad got me a Lexus for my 18th” Let’s say you want to try investing. Wow you think your friends students? Or part time workers? Your dad can easily introduce you to his investment savvy partners to rope you in to the trade. Even if you don’t rely on your dad, chances are your rich friends will have some contacts to link/hook you up and get your started. Things ARE JUST EASIER DONE when you are rich. Don’t try to argue with that, I can even see you nodding from my computer seat.
4. Chick Magnet. Let's play a game called 'Guess who is the millionaire?'
5. Most people would love this. Freedom to pursue your PASSION!!! Siao bo, if my laopei got money, I will do whatever the fuck I want and LIKE. If I like painting, I will just paint my life away. If I like diving, I will go to all the diving spots in the world and dive. If I like drumming, I just fucking master my craft all day long. After all, money isn’t an issue. Survivability isn’t an issue. I never have to worry about my next meal, housing installments, credit card bills or utilities, my dad got me covered. So all those Japanese otakus you see in conventions setting up booths selling stuff and shit, or those globe trotting jap wannabes. Like come on, don’t fuck yourself, if they have a poor family background, I would gladly eat roadside grass for a full month to atone for my poor understanding of this matter. Dead serious.
sadly i am not rich enough to 'become' a fulltime professional trading card game player
strongest pokemon card ever made
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So Sam, what can I do if I am not an ASK?
1. Be smart. You may not be born with money but with intelligence, you can make other people’s money YOUR MONEY. Hahahahhah eg. Bernard Madoff
there is a difference between smart and 'act smart, gei kiang'
2. Be good-looking. Because you won’t have to spend a single cent of YOUR own money. LOLLLLLLLL eg. Angelababy
she didn't buy that crown, she had it from cradle
3. Tio Beh Pio – Bet $2000 on any 4 digits. If first prize, multiply by 2000. That is $4m. If no first prize, Type SV_RESTARTROUND 1. *repeat cycle*
4. Marry a rich fuck. Eg. Melania Trump
i look at this picture and i ask myself... 'WHERE IS THE FUCKING JUSTICE IN THIS WORLD?'
我问天!!!我问天!!! WA MENG TI!!! WA MENG TI!!!!
5. Invent/discover something revolutionary. Eg. Anybody who patents the cure for AIDS would be a billionaire, that’s for sure. Other examples include being Mister Fantastic or Tony Stark.
6. Be talented. Of course being talented helps but the probability of being born talented is rarer than the probability of being born as an ASK. eg. Yundi Li
this guy plays the piano so well he not only jizzes his pants, he INDUCES others to jizz theirs' as well
7. Not advisable but well… anything illegal yields high returns *evil smirk*
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K THAT’S ALL FOLKS. TMR HAVE TO GO TO WORK. WHY? BECAUSE LIMPEI IS NOT AN ASK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
